To bed or not to bed : what men want, what women want, how great sex happens by Bodansky Vera

Author:Bodansky, Vera
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Sex, Sex instruction
ISBN: 089793461X
Publisher: Alameda, CA : Hunter House
Published: 2006-02-15T00:00:00+00:00

Monkey See, Monkey Do

Many people do things because everybody else is doing them, a fact that presents opportunities both for enjoyment and good and for pain and sorrow. Pagans used to have holidays when the normal rigid rules of behavior were

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replaced with fun, frolic, and sexual escapades. Because everyone in the village was doing it, women allowed themselves to openly express their more instinctual sexual appetites. In the late 1960s and early 1970s a larger percentage of the population was into free” sex. Because so many people were doing it, it became the trend. When Vera and I lived in a community that explored sex and sensuality, the norm was for women to express their sensual desires. We had classes with rules that said the participants had to have an orgasm every day or maybe three or more times a day. In one class the participants had to give and receive a three-hour orgasm once a week. Because it was in the structured environment of a sensuality course, women felt free to choose pleasure over the usual prudery that our society generally promotes. Under these circumstances it was the proper thing to do to express desire and ask for pleasure. Both the women and the men were generally gratified and happy. However, as soon as the course was over, there was a huge decline in the number of orgasms and pleasurable experiences people had, until the next class started.

When people are newly falling in love they do not seem to need as many excuses or reasons to get into bed. A natural chemistry supplies the energy and the fuel for pleasure. As teachers, Vera and I see our role as helping our students go from a good place to an even better one. It would seem to make sense, then, that our work would be excellent for couples who are newly in love and are already having sensual fun together. However, when things are going well, people believe there’s no need to fix anything, and most folks seem to think that getting sex instruction means you’re trying to fix something. Therefore, most of our students are either couples who have been together for a while or single people looking for a partner. When we do get a newly in-love couple, we are able to give them excellent ideas to enhance what great fun they are already having, as well as some helpful tools they can use for the rest of their lives

when the chemistry does lessen.

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